The month of November has always been a month of being thankful. Again this year it means so much more to me. I always said I was thankful for health, family, friends etc, but this year is just completely different. I look at everything in such a new light.
This year we had a home invasion of sorts. A serious home invasion and we will never feel safe. The home invasion was by cancer. How could I of been so naive in the past to think that this could never 'happen' to us. Well, it happened and as a cancer mom you have this new found fear for you child. It makes you fearful of so much more. You fear germs, the common cold, the flu, infection on a whole different level. You fear this beast that decided to just come and invade your child and turn the life of you and everyone around you upside down. It is an unexplainable fear, that I'm sure people that see us on the outside think, "I'd never want to be walking in their shoes." As a matter of fact, people and strangers in so many words tell me that daily. Cancer has brought so much fear into our lives, but as crazy as it sounds it has taught us both so many things about life and being thankful.
This year I am thankful for each day, each moment that passes and every breath that I take. I feel in the past, I took that for granted. And looking back I feel horrible. I was always looking forward to something in the future that I didn't sit back and be thankful for the now... that moment. I am thankful for my mother's intuition. That day the orthopedic doctor said he wanted to cast Caleb's leg. That would've masked the Leukemia even more. I went against the doctors and family members opinions of casting it because I felt a mother's intuition not to. I don't know what told me that do to go against the doctor, but I am glad I did. Given the amount of blasts in Caleb's blood, he was days from death at that time without me even knowing it, but deep down I knew he didn't need a cast on it. I am thankful for Caleb's medical team. All the doctors, nurses & social workers. They are all wonderful people with the same thing in mind. Helping my son and others get cured. I am thankful for the parents that put their children in clinical trials. Without places like St. Jude and Children's Oncology Group advancements in treatment wouldn't be what they are today. And they are that way because of parents that sign and allow their children to be part of clinical trials. Years ago there were no trials for you to be part of, they just had one form of treatment and it didn't always work. Now there are more options for our children and for that I am thankful. I am thankful for the "angels that walk the Earth". Many of you I've met because of this horrible disease. I am thankful I've met all of you and thankful for what each of you have done for us. No need to be specific as to who you are, you know. You all have done so much for Caleb and I and for that I am thankful. You have allowed me to be able to stay by my sons side through all this, given us holidays I wasn't sure we'd be able to do otherwise, and offered wonderful words of encouragement. I am thankful for all the support of friends and family near and far. I am thankful for each and every single one of you. You all have been amazing and so supportive of us since his day of diagnosis. I couldn't of asked for a better support system and social networking has made it so much easier to stay in contact and keep you posted on his progress. I am thankful for the "friends I wish I never met." You all know who you are. We use that saying all the time. Each and every single one of you and your kids hold a special place in my heart. I have never met people with more strength and will in my life. You have all been there for me when I needed you, sometimes more than people I thought would be there. I know I can text or call any of you at any time of day or night and get a response, as I am there for you. We will forever be linked and no one fights alone - and for that I am thankful. I am thankful for my rock. Since the day we met you have always been there for me. You wipe my tears when I cry, help me through my hardest nights and help me find time in my days to smile and laugh. You're understanding through these tough times and keep everything positive for us always thinking about a bright future. You've opened your arms and heart to both Caleb and I, and for that I am thankful. I am thankful for Caleb's prayer warriors &followers. This journey has restored my faith. It has helped me to pray more and believe in the power of prayer. So many people around the world pray for my son, and for that I am thankful. Lastly, I am thankful for my son, Caleb Blaise. Each day with him is a blessing. He may drive me crazy at times, but he always just smiles and makes me forget I'm upset. He has helped me to remain strong at times I need it the most. His strength and bravery has helped me to stay by his side and be there when he needs me the most and for that I am thankful.
So as we all sit down this week around the table and give thanks, please take a moment and enjoy that 'now'. You can never get that 'now' back. Take a deep breath and enjoy it. You never know when something can dramatically change your life or if a loved one you have sitting around your table may not be there physically next year... so enjoy that 'now' and that moment because you can never get it back.
Caleb has 11 days between treatments now, so this week he had a break. He goes back at the end of the week for labs and the next round of chemotherapy. A few more weeks till long term maintenance!!!
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This year we had a home invasion of sorts. A serious home invasion and we will never feel safe. The home invasion was by cancer. How could I of been so naive in the past to think that this could never 'happen' to us. Well, it happened and as a cancer mom you have this new found fear for you child. It makes you fearful of so much more. You fear germs, the common cold, the flu, infection on a whole different level. You fear this beast that decided to just come and invade your child and turn the life of you and everyone around you upside down. It is an unexplainable fear, that I'm sure people that see us on the outside think, "I'd never want to be walking in their shoes." As a matter of fact, people and strangers in so many words tell me that daily. Cancer has brought so much fear into our lives, but as crazy as it sounds it has taught us both so many things about life and being thankful.
This year I am thankful for each day, each moment that passes and every breath that I take. I feel in the past, I took that for granted. And looking back I feel horrible. I was always looking forward to something in the future that I didn't sit back and be thankful for the now... that moment. I am thankful for my mother's intuition. That day the orthopedic doctor said he wanted to cast Caleb's leg. That would've masked the Leukemia even more. I went against the doctors and family members opinions of casting it because I felt a mother's intuition not to. I don't know what told me that do to go against the doctor, but I am glad I did. Given the amount of blasts in Caleb's blood, he was days from death at that time without me even knowing it, but deep down I knew he didn't need a cast on it. I am thankful for Caleb's medical team. All the doctors, nurses & social workers. They are all wonderful people with the same thing in mind. Helping my son and others get cured. I am thankful for the parents that put their children in clinical trials. Without places like St. Jude and Children's Oncology Group advancements in treatment wouldn't be what they are today. And they are that way because of parents that sign and allow their children to be part of clinical trials. Years ago there were no trials for you to be part of, they just had one form of treatment and it didn't always work. Now there are more options for our children and for that I am thankful. I am thankful for the "angels that walk the Earth". Many of you I've met because of this horrible disease. I am thankful I've met all of you and thankful for what each of you have done for us. No need to be specific as to who you are, you know. You all have done so much for Caleb and I and for that I am thankful. You have allowed me to be able to stay by my sons side through all this, given us holidays I wasn't sure we'd be able to do otherwise, and offered wonderful words of encouragement. I am thankful for all the support of friends and family near and far. I am thankful for each and every single one of you. You all have been amazing and so supportive of us since his day of diagnosis. I couldn't of asked for a better support system and social networking has made it so much easier to stay in contact and keep you posted on his progress. I am thankful for the "friends I wish I never met." You all know who you are. We use that saying all the time. Each and every single one of you and your kids hold a special place in my heart. I have never met people with more strength and will in my life. You have all been there for me when I needed you, sometimes more than people I thought would be there. I know I can text or call any of you at any time of day or night and get a response, as I am there for you. We will forever be linked and no one fights alone - and for that I am thankful. I am thankful for my rock. Since the day we met you have always been there for me. You wipe my tears when I cry, help me through my hardest nights and help me find time in my days to smile and laugh. You're understanding through these tough times and keep everything positive for us always thinking about a bright future. You've opened your arms and heart to both Caleb and I, and for that I am thankful. I am thankful for Caleb's prayer warriors &followers. This journey has restored my faith. It has helped me to pray more and believe in the power of prayer. So many people around the world pray for my son, and for that I am thankful. Lastly, I am thankful for my son, Caleb Blaise. Each day with him is a blessing. He may drive me crazy at times, but he always just smiles and makes me forget I'm upset. He has helped me to remain strong at times I need it the most. His strength and bravery has helped me to stay by his side and be there when he needs me the most and for that I am thankful.
So as we all sit down this week around the table and give thanks, please take a moment and enjoy that 'now'. You can never get that 'now' back. Take a deep breath and enjoy it. You never know when something can dramatically change your life or if a loved one you have sitting around your table may not be there physically next year... so enjoy that 'now' and that moment because you can never get it back.
Caleb has 11 days between treatments now, so this week he had a break. He goes back at the end of the week for labs and the next round of chemotherapy. A few more weeks till long term maintenance!!!
Have a wonderful and blessed Thanksgiving Everyone!
Thank You for your continued love, support and prayers!
Caleb's Mama
Caleb and Trevor at Winter Formal deep in discussion
Super Caleb in his "Gold Hope Project" photoshoot
Early Christmas from his grandma and aunts! So Happy!
My handsome little boy all dressed up in his tux!
Caleb and KK at Formal
Mama and Caleb
Caleb, Trevor and Emily at Holiday Splash
At Seaworld - Thank You New Hope for Kids for a Wonderful Night!
Swim by Shamu
Caleb and Trevor with Shamu
Good Life
One Republic
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