If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking.

It's been another long week. Clinic day last week was long and exhausting. The things this little boy has to go through is horrible. He should be worrying about what toy or game to play - not that he may get petichiae (yes, my four year old knows what that is and can say it correctly) or what his counts are or what day he needs to go to clinic to get meds that make him feel like crap.
Thursday was his clinic day this week and boy was it a long one - but Caleb had Mama, Grandma and PopPop by his side the whole day! We knew it was going to be long, but every one forgets how long it actually is. He had to not eat, since he was getting sedation. As hard as that used to be, that is one of the easier things now. He had a spinal tap and I swear it was the longest spinal he's had to date. He had chemo placed in his spine and had two IV infusions of chemo. He had to be in clinic all day (8-5) due to hydration with this chemo. It CAN NOT sit in his bladder and must be passed. The reason being it can cause bleeding from his bladder.... internal bleeding if it sits too long on his bladder. Also, this weekend he needed shots on Friday, Saturday and Sunday. By Sunday, he took the needle like a champ!

Another thing he had to overcome this week was losing his hair. Within three days, it was just about gone. He has strands now... I asked him if he wanted me to shave it and he says no, I just want it all to fall out. As much as it seems it doesn't bother him, I know deep down it does but some things he says and does. He doesn't want pictures as much as before - but at times he does. He is refusing to wear a hat lately - so I feel the stares we get at the stores or when I see someone looking at him - they quickly look at me and blankly give me a smile. It's obvious now - my child has cancer. Even today, the starbucks barista who usually  helps us - we hadn't been to the Target location in over a week and she had no clue before - now it's obvious. But Caleb's smile is way more powerful than having any hair on his head and he will rock that look perfectly fine. I just hope no one says anything hurtful to him. He really doesn't like talking about it & he made it known to the cashier in Publix that stared at him.

Caleb attended his Great Grandfather's 100th birthday this weekend! He now can tell people he met someone that is 100 years old. It was such a great milestone birthday, so happy we were able to attend!
Hoping the rest of this week is uneventful. He has clinic again on Thursday to get another spinal and more chemo in his spine and IV. He also has shots all weekend again and he will be winding down this second half of the delayed intensification phase.

I'm so proud of my little boy. None of us know how he feels - I just know first hand seeing what he actually endures and I wouldn't be half as strong as him. I keep wishing for all this to be over, but then I feel like we are wishing our lives away. Each week I look forward to that clinic visit being over and anticipate the next to be that much more done with his treatment. The truth is we need to just sit back and enjoy each day. I just wish sometimes I could take my own advice for that one.... I ,personally, have my moments more often than less nowadays, but I need to just look to my son to get the strength I need to help both he and I get through this bump in our lives.

Thank You for your continued love and support.

Love, 

Caleb's Mama

Exhausted in Clinic

 Heading into clinic on Fri for a chemo shot

 Loving his new Cars Microdrifters Set!

 Baking a cake for his cousin Gary w Grandma

 Hanging out with his cousins at his Great Grandfather's 100th Birthday!

Matchbox Twenty

These Hard Times